The New Avtar

Before you dismiss my attempts at getting a new avatar, I plead that you consider that humans were apes before they become humans. It was early this year, when I found myself unable to stare at my toes straight down. Not that it has ever alarmed me, but I found solace in the fact that neither could Garfield do it. He was my hero and I was content to follow my idol. Society being an interesting group, forces you to review your own perspective often. You are thrown amidst well built and sharply dressed folks and you see a glow around their faces. I saw a mirror nearby and caught my own reflection. Ironically, there was an old newspaper cutting just behind me and it read something about the size of Sumo wrestlers.

I also noticed that people recognized me instantly despite not having seen me in a very long time. My hair style has not changed, not because of the want of creativity, but because of the want of hair on my scalp. I continue to be high on the criminals list of the fashion police and the less said about my looks the better the world would be. So in a very different way, I managed to create my own niche. If you want to know me in a party, then look out for the worst dressed and worst looking. Chances are that our acquaintance would be short lived. None the less it would be a great entry in your diary of having met the worst looking person in your life.

After thus ridiculing myself for many years, I learnt that it is indeed getting monotonous and there are no takers for this barb any more. So I started to run. I live in a house that could be Goliath's matchbox. Across this wandering meadow I would run for twenty minutes each day and feel like a marathon runner by the fifth minute. Thankfully my neighbour in the house below my own works sane hours and he is not at home when I am upto my antics. Thus devoid of any persistent protests, I carried on persistently. A few weeks later, I found that my toe nails could indeed be seen. A few weeks more and an old trouser that which would threaten to tear even if I looked at, seemed to condescendingly accede to my request of wearing it. A triumph to the spirit of human determination I thought. That weekend I had beer and the trouser revolted again.

So lessons learnt that you either keep at it and keep buying new trousers with bigger sizes. As always my friends had a great laugh when I told them with great pride that I ran around the house to get into shape. Earlier I used to be happy to let them have a great laugh. But this time things were different. I was determined to lay some old ghosts to rest. I visited the office gym and noticed that there were no one around at midnight. I devised a plan that could help me avoid embarrassment and also let me do some justice to my sides. So at midnight on many days, the security guard outside the gym noticed a weird creature running around the treadmills instead of on it and then try some feeble arm swings. He must have had a great laugh! Again, happy to bring joy to the world.

My bone chilling antics took better organized shape post humours narration with my friends. They realized that the intentions were genuine and gave me tips on better arm swings and better tread mill usage.

Well, it has been some months now and I do look very different from the hippopotamus that used to roam the urban jungle until sometime back. I am not exactly a gazelle now, but have trimmed down to a hyena atleast. This new avatar has not changed my luck with the opposite sex one bit. I guess that time is done and over with. I have many loved ones call me a loser trying to get fresh with some gorgeous creations of God. But hey! I cannot stop trying, I cannot stop being me! :)

So the next time some one I know sees me, I hope they are not alarmed, the body might be trying to change, but the brains are just under developed and spirits are just as high!!