My friend and I were very incompetent students. Both of us were academic disasters and our skills at other art forms and sports ranged from the very minimal to non-existent. Our parents put us in a reasonable school and gave us every exposure to every kind of "schoolish" torture :) My well oiled curly hair kept the most modest of plain Janes away from me and his very identifiable squint meant that he would look one way and wink the other. Most girls would have given him a shot, if only they could decide which one he was winking at.
I used to be a fair sportsman...well I guess when you are a boy... you are just good at sports.. you are not a sportsman.. well... i am wondering.... if there is a term called a sportsboy or sportsgirl... sorry.. for digressing...
It was a hot Tuesday and our promised "Games" period turned out to be a rehearsal time for the school's annual day function. The drill was very confusing for me and half the time, I would either have my hands up in the air when every other was down or I would have inadvertently stomped on my neighbour's shoes doing the wrong drill. It was not going anywhere and I needed to get out of this. The oldest trick in the book was "The Loo", but it can hurt if asked in unison. My dumb moron friend timed his request to perfection with mine. The request was turned down. Now the master would not even heed to genuine calls of nature, further compounding the agony. I felt like pelting him with every stone I could find around me.
The master relented after about an hour and said that we would break for 15 mins and start again. We ran, we relieved, and we escaped :) We slid into the library since I was sure that it would be last place to be searched. Even if we were found, "us Einsteins were looking up reference for our physics project". I congratulated myself on this great brain wave! My friend stood looking at me admiringly, not understanding an alphabet of my reasoning. I gave up. We strolled across the hallway and soon were standing in front of the school's only functioning musical instrument. A Jurassic age Harmonium! My joy knew no bounds and I told that we should try our hand at it. He quickly agreed. I told him that learners need to work as a team. He was to dedicate the entire prowess of his clumsy hands to the movement of the front portion of the Harmonium, while I with my nimble fingers was to play the keys.
He started of frantically and the initial pressing of the keys resulted in the sound of clumsy air coming out from ,where, I could not tell. I looked at him questioningly, clearing the air around my nose and he pleaded absolute ignorance. He went hard at it again, this time, one sound came from the 10 million key combinations I had tried in those 10 seconds. It sounded like two steel chairs moving on the black board. He was crestfallen and I decided to whip up a symphony to soothe his nerves. I told him to pull it back and hold it there. He did as instructed and out of no where, there came a clutter of sounds! Each as loud as it could get and I remember our Sanskrit teacher wailing as loudly as she sang, "Aeeee kaun hobe! (She was a Bengali)" or something to that effect. I remember running through the back door yelling "Aham Gachati! Aham Gachati!" (I am going! - in Sanskrit)
Another time, a classmate of mine was deeply absorbed in the experiment he was conducting in the chemistry lab. And my energies were focused on getting to the watchman's house next to the lab to see the score of the cricket match that was going on. He made quick notes and in that inimitable adolescent way, made fun of me by saying that I was a thorough incompetent fool and that I would fail every exam that a first grader could pass. I usually do not argue, especially if it is the truth you are staring at. Sigh... the story of my life...
I yawned twice before starting the "Salt Test". I did not have the faintest idea of what was to be mixed and how the result was to be procured. What followed was surely fun! :) My chemistry teacher knew my name only because there were only so few of us in that batch :) She tried to help me a lot. She told me she prayed that the weakest students in my batch and then Karthik should pass chemistry in the board exams. Well, I was happy, It does not matter where I am in that list, atleast I am there. :)
My friend was staring at the beaker as he held it over the Bunsen burner. I was purposefully looking away, trying very hard to hear that faint commentary. Then I smelt something burning... I quickly turned around and saw that our friend here had his tie in flames! Our "Faster Fennay" here tugged at his shirt instead of the tie. I could not help smiling initially and then decided that I must rescue him. By that way perhaps, that girl I was hoping to speak to would know that I studied in the same school as hers! :) Before I could claim my heroism, he tore his shirt off. The tie was later pulled out and flung with such alarm that for once I heard those typical "Girly Screams". Our dim wit forgot that it was the chemistry lab and his shot put could have landed anywhere.
Well, we all survived that evening. He boarded that bus like a pregnant lady. His bag covered the huge gaping hole the fire had made on his shirt. I actually tried to persuade him to keep it open saying that it looked like a style statement. He glared and locked his fist and I made a fast exit.
Brings a smile when I think of those days. I could be careless and yet get away with what looked like murder at that time. Today I think many times before saying or doing anything. Perhaps with childhood goes innocence. Jog your memory and I am sure that there are many smiles hidden in your more innocent days than there are now.
